he keeps calling it his battle body
by InsanelyA.D.D
Summary: Papyrus is feeling depressed and when he doesn't get up on time one morning Sans can tell something is wrong and does what he can to make his baby bro feel better. Alternate title: The Story of Papyrus' Battle Body Written for the PapChat Secret Santa, crossposted to Ao3


Papyrus came home from training with Undyne, more exhausted than usual, and Sans could tell it was "nap day" for his bro. That meant as soon as he changed out of his training clothes and washed off the "CONCENTRATED LIQUID COOLNESS" (sweat) he'd be face first in his bed for only a few hours, despite the fact that last Sans checked he'd been awake for a week and a half at this point. He was napping more often which might have been cause for concern if it wasn't for the fact that it was most likely due to him doing that high-intensity guard training. At least that's what Sans thought. In reality, it had been a few weeks since Papyrus had done any actual physical training. He's just cooking with her currently.

After just a few hours, much like Sans predicted Papyrus woke up. He didn't get out of bed though. He continued to lay in bed, in the dark of his unlit room and laid there for a few hours. He didn't think about much because he knew that he was in a mood where if he thought about anything it would just lead into an endless loop of miserable thoughts. He knew he had to get up. He knew he had to eat. He knew he had to do patrols come "daytime". He knew he had to make sure his brother got up too. He knew he had to keep a watch out for humans. He knew he had to report to Undyne. He knew he'd have to do his "training". He knew his training had devolved from actually sparring to just cooking as of late.

Papyrus turned on to his side in bed, the "frown" on his face deepening. He wasn't stupid - he knew what was happening. He knew Undyne wouldn't let him into the guard. It was obvious.

"What's even the point..." He mumbled out loud, much quieter than he normally spoke. All the same, he sat up, desperate for a little bit of a distraction. He dragged his feet over to the bookshelf, even though he had slept he still felt tired. He gave out a shaky sigh and looked over his favorite section of books, hand reaching out, gloved phalanges flicking slightly as he hovered over the books as he scanned their titles. He settled on a collection of comic books that he had fished out of the dump a little over two years ago. He had found it not long before he had decided he wanted to join the Royal Guard.

For a second he grappled with whether to use less effort and take two steps towards the computer chair and sit there while he distracted himself or to use more effort and take six steps to lie down in his significantly more comfortable bed. In the end, he chose the chair, because even though it was closer he'd be more likely to get up from it when he was done. He sat in the chair and read through the comic, a comic which he had read at least 30 times by this point. But he started from the beginning, and despite his less than cheerful mood, he began to get excited at the character that would soon be appearing - a superhero by the name of The Ghost.

He knew this hero was a human in the comics, but despite that the man always wore an all-white bodysuit with a skull mask, blue briefs, and a pair of red gloves with a matching long, flowing cape. Some people might have thought it silly if they knew, but he liked to picture himself as the hero shown in the comics. Rereading the comic brought on a feeling of nostalgia and melancholy. It brought him full circle back to his hollowing realization that he wouldn't be able to achieve his dreams.

But before he could fully sink back into that inky abyss of emotion and looping thoughts, he heard a knock on his door, it was Sans. 'OH, HAVE I REALLY BEEN LAYING AROUND FOR THAT LONG?' he thought before immediately realizing his brother would be able to tell that something was wrong, as he was usually the one to wake Sans up, not the other way around. Another round or rapping at the door interrupted his brief reprieve.

"hey bro? you awake?" There was a lengthy pause where Papyrus said nothing for reasons he couldn't articulate. "Papyrus? You okay?" Now Sans was getting incredibly concerned. Papyrus knew for a fact that Sans wouldn't enter his room without permission, as crude or lazy as his brother could be he would never intrude on his personal space...unless he got too worried to ignore the lack of response from his uncharacteristically tardy and silent bro. So Papyrus stood up and shuffled to the door to unlock it, making sure to drag his feet loud enough for Sans to hear. Papyrus opened the door to see the perpetually grinning face of his brother. Most people who hadn't lived with him for as long as Papyrus had wouldn't notice the little signs that betrayed the shorter skeleton's concern; the way the corners of his mouth were pulled down slightly, making the curve above his teeth closer to a straight line, nor would they see how his eye lights were slightly constricted, the lines under his sockets slightly more creased than normal. Sans had his hands raised to about chest height in front of him, ready to reach out if permission was given or it was needed.

"Papyrus, bro are you alright? You're not feeling sick are you?" Sans' voice always sounded so strange to his brother when he used proper casing. A little too on edge, a little too precise. It was something hard to describe to non-skeletons.

Papyrus considered his words. He wanted to lie. But he was also aware that Sans would see right through it, he was acting too strangely for Sans to just believe him and ignore how he'd been acting. Papyrus was well aware that speaking would assuage his brother's anxiety, but he was also very conscious of the fact that his voice would certainly crack right now which would lead to inevitable crying. That definitely wouldn't make Sans feel better. So he settled for making a 'so-so' motion with his hand and shaking his head 'no'.

Sans took a hesitant step forward, arms extending towards his bro, "you need a hug, Pap?"

He looked down at his brother, almost too embarrassed to accept his offer, but after a shaky (and unnecessary) breath bobbed his head once. There was barely a pause before Sans fell forward into Pap, wrapping his arms around his distressed brother and giving him a firm hug, and a few slow comforting back rubs. "you feeling better yet?" he asked, "cuz if not i'm going to have to keep on hugging you until you do." As if to punctuate his 'threat' he squeezed harder. Papyrus let out a shaky laugh at that, moving his arms to wrap limply around his brother's shoulders.

After a while of standing there and enjoying the feeling of being hugged Sans gave Papyrus a few pats on the back and pulled away, which he accepted even if he was disappointed, having wanted the hug to go on for a little longer. Sans gave him a reassuring pat on the arm and a small but genuine smile.

"c'mon bro, get dressed before we need to head out to work today i need to talk to you about something." Papyrus responded with a slow nod before turning back into his room and shutting the door behind himself to give him privacy to change.

When he exited his room once more, he saw Sans sitting on the couch when he looked out over the railing of the balcony. Sans immediately took notice and waved for him to come down. A small amount of anxiety began to build up in him as he descended the stairs, a little afraid of what Sans would say about how he was acting. Wordlessly he sat on the couch next to Sans who turned to give him a soft look.

"you okay to talk now?" He asked. Papyrus thought about it for a moment.

"Y-YES." His voice was hoarse from disuse and being on the verge of crying for at least an hour.

"okay, good." Sans tilted his head, Papyrus knew what he was going to ask. "you wanna talk about it?" He didn't, he honestly hated the idea of talking about it. Especially not with his brother, his frustratingly charismatic brother who seemed to make friends and gain the admiration of others so easily. His brother who could walk into that hole-in-the-wall bar and be simultaneously greeted by everyone at once, while Papyrus walking into the same place a few hours later to pick him up would hardly be acknowledged. It seemed almost everyone in town got along with Sans even if they didn't already know his name.

Papyrus tried so hard for people to like him, to be someone, anyone's friend; he tried so hard to achieve his dream of being a member of the Royal Guard. Sans hardly seemed to try at all at anything and he could still succeed at what Papyrus was failing to do.

"FINE," he sighed. "UNDYNE'S BEEN GIVING ME COOKING LESSONS," he said plainly, but ultimately avoiding the main reason for his pain, hoping Sans would catch on somehow, like someone gesturing to the general area of a stab wound with the knife still embedded but not daring to touch it and make it worse.

Sans tilted his head again, eyesockets squinting slightly. A silent request to elaborate because he knew Undyne had been giving him cooking lessons. It wasn't that hard a thing to guess when he made spaghetti as often as he did, muttering about practice under his breath, not to mention Undyne burning her house down several times now. Unbidden, Papyrus could feel frustration rising in himself but quashed it, fully aware he was being overly vague and it was his own fault if his brother couldn't understand what he was trying to say.

"JUST COOKING LESSONS. AND NOTHING ELSE…" Papyrus angled his head to the side, giving the carpet a glare that would have made it burst into flames if possible. "FOR ALMOST A MONTH." Sans had a look of understanding dawn on his face, and just as he was about to respond Papyrus felt his hold slip and before he could stop it he was going through everything that was wrong.

"I JUST WANT PEOPLE TO LOOK UP TO ME, BUT NO ONE IN TOWN EVEN KNOWS MY NAME! AND THE ONES WHO DO BARELY ACKNOWLEDGE ME OR GIVE ME HEAD-PETS AND LOLLIPOPS LIKE I'M SOME KIND OF CHILD! I MEAN...I DO ENJOY THEM, BUT I'M AN ADULT! AND NO ONE TREATS ME LIKE IT...NOT EVEN UNDYNE…" His voice started cracking now, as he started to sob, "I don't even know what I did wrong. I must have done something wrong if she's stopped giving me guard training...but I don't understand! I've made nearly every puzzle and trap in Snowdin, I patrol every day, and report my findings to her, always! And I am very punctual too!" He broke down, holding his head in his hands as he continued to sob. Sans sat frozen, hands hovering just over his bro but not touching him in case he didn't want to be touched.

"h-hey, bro, c'mon. i'm sure undyne has a reason for switching up your schedule, and i'm also pretty sure that if you ask her about it she'll go back to your normal training too." He gingerly placed his hand on Papyrus' back, rubbing cautious circles into the soft cream colored sweater. Papyrus sniffled despite his lack of nose, uncurling himself to look at his brother better.

"Y-yeah?" Sans almost flinched. Whereas Papyrus was only made mildly uncomfortable by Sans speaking with proper casing, there was something deeply terrifying about his brother's usually clear, bold, and annunciated speaking sounding so plain and...weak. But once again these are nuances only skeletons can really describe, let alone detect. Sans pulled the corners of his mouth into his reassuring smile, the subtlety in its shift something very few people could see.

"'course bro," Sans said, alternating out of rubbing to patting his back, "now we really should get going if we wanna make it out to our shifts on time. i know you're not feeling too great right now, papyrus, but i'm sure a little walking around in that frosty air out there'll perk you right up. and afterwards, you can talk to undyne about your concerns, yeah?"

Papyrus gave a nod, more confident than before, and sat up straighter. "YOU'RE RIGHT," He sighed, voice back to normal, putting Sans at ease. Papyrus practically jumped from the couch, though it was still apparent he wasn't back to full energy yet, he was just trying to work himself up to it. In a careful motion, he grabbed up his brother and slung him over his shoulder. "BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU GET ANY SLACK TO LAZE AROUND! YOU HAVE A JOB TO DO AS MUCH AS I DO, SANS!"

~~~~~~~~~~/\^/\^/\~~~~~~~~~~

Papyrus returned from training again, much sweatier and happier than yesterday. "YOU WERE RIGHT SANS, WHEN I TOLD HER THAT I WANTED TO KEEP DOING REALLY GUARD TRAINING SHE CONCEDED! HOWEVER, SHE STILL INSISTS THAT SHE ALSO TEACH ME HOW TO COOK STILL." Papyrus noticed the look on Sans' face. It read 'excited' and Papyrus wasn't sure if that was something he should be wary of or not.

Papyrus, covert as can be due to his lack of eyelights, quickly scanned the room for any pranks Sans might have laid out. Instead of any pranks, however, Sans reached into his hoodie pocket and pulled out an envelope.

"so i got a letter in the mail, it's an invite to a costume party," Sans said as he held the envelope with some consideration in his hands. If Papyrus were feeling a little more vindictive he would assume that Sans might have brought this up to mock him, even though that would be unlikely due to the fact that Sans isn't malicious like that. "i wasn't planning on going, cuz you know me, i'm no good at coming up with costume ideas...but if you want, we can make a costume for you and i can take you with me as my plus one."

Papyrus was frozen with surprise for a moment as the words sunk in. Him, going to a party? To hang out with people? To possibly make new friends? He suddenly jumped straight up into the air in excitement, his magic allowing him to almost reach the ceiling before he slowly drifted down.

"so i take it you want to go?" Sans laughed lightheartedly at the display of excitement.

"YES!" Papyrus was practically shaking with excitement and in just a few long strides he was in front of Sans, picking him up and throwing him into the air. Sans was not expecting that and blue-screened out of shock for a half second as his brother threw him around like he weighed nothing. He snapped out of it just in time to register Papyrus bringing him in for a nearly crushing hug. It was a good thing he didn't need to breathe because he probably wouldn't have been able to.

"you got an idea for a costume?" Sans asked when Papyrus pulled him out of the hug, still holding him up at about arm's length, his feet dangling just above the ground.

Papyrus only needed to think for a second before he gasped in anticipation, the idea too good for him to want to wait even a second before getting to work on. "YEAH! I HAVE A GREAT IDEA! I JUST NEED TO DRAW OUT A DESIGN!"

"i'm sure whatever you think of will be awesome bro." Sans said as he was finally allowed to have his feet back on the ground. Papyrus continued to vibrate in glee as he took off faster than Sans had seen him run in a while, practically vaulting up the stairs as he ran into his room to get something.

He burst right back out the door in what seemed to only be seconds, hands holding a hardcover of some comic, a sketchbook, and a pencil. Papyrus was by Sans in mere moments, the page already found, as he pointed to a specific character. Sans gave it a thoughtful look before glancing back over to his brother, and back to the character.

"well, we'd definitely need to make some edits to make up for the lack of flesh, but i think we can totally pull that off. not sure how many people would recognize the costume though." Papyrus handwaved that comment.

"DOESN'T MATTER IF THEY RECOGNIZE IT, I JUST WANT TO LOOK LIKE A HERO." Sans chuckled at his brother's enthusiasm.

"sure thing bro, by the time we're done working on this costume you'll be a real hero." Papyrus responded by opening up his sketchbook so they could bounce ideas for the costume back and forth.


End file.
